Tough day. I look pregnant

Today has been a really tough day. Today has been a day off work and no plans. In lockdown. What can the brain do in these situations?

Let me start from the beginning of the week. I’ve taken half term off and so far this week we’ve walked in the woods, I’ve read 2 books, done some cleaning and painting. Last night I didn’t sleep well. Today it threw me. I felt tired and lower than I have done for weeks!

I couldn’t stop thinking about food. I started to cook a microwave meal at lunchtime and threw it away. I ate 4 seafood sticks and craved more. I had a large teaspoon of Nutella.... I so enjoyed it but have no idea why I felt I needed it so much. I feel I’ve tormented myself all day with food.

I looked down at this:

I felt huge.

The scales are up 1.5lb since yesterday...

I know I’ve done well since I started back on my fitness and food regime but when you look down and still feel as if you look pregnant (when you know you’re not!) it’s so disheartening. I have to keep going. I have to get myself in a better place physically (and I know mentally I’ll feel far better too) 

Damn you belly and damn you scales! Damn you brain for over thinking.

Anyway, I pulled myself together and went and did my 30minute workout. Why didn’t I do this sooner? I felt fabulous after!!

We all get low days. I need to remember that. Today could of been far far worse! I’ll take today as a victory, not a fail.

Tomorrow will be a better day. I know it will. But today hasn’t been bad now has it?!